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europe report - day one |
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Report by Neil Baker |
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Triumph in the face of Adversity – So Much for British
Punctuality |
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Friday 13th
July 2007 |
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Neil Baker,
Artists of Turning to the Dork Side... |
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Neil - "From the exterior of the ExCel
Centre, a casual visitor would never have guessed that within its walls resided
a Star Wars playground for ages 4 to 84. Actually I was a little disappointed
when I arrived with my entourage on Thursday to pick up my Hyperspace lanyard,
and the décor inside did little to alleviate my fears. A couple of markers and
a half-mossed X-Wing – it almost seemed like the organisers were embarrassed to
admit what would be happening that weekend. The heat in the hall was stifling,
and the volunteers I chatted to told me that they had only just arrived that
afternoon, and nobody knew what they were supposed to be doing. I didn’t need
the Force to understand the sinking sensation I was feeling. When we asked for
our lanyards the checking process seemed a bit complicated for our helper and
then, when we heard that the friends and family coupons (as well as the other
badges, the programs and the schedule guides) were on a train somewhere, more
alarm bells went off. The kind of screeching, booming alarms that you normally
only ever hear when two Star Destroyers are about to collide. On the plus side,
due to the lack of family coupons, we were all given Hyperspace lanyards, and
this would turn out to be a Godsend. I went home that evening with a sense of
foreboding gnawing away at my insides." |
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Friday arrived, and we reached
the centre at 7:30 AM – to find ourselves about 200 bodies back in the queue.
Costumes started to appear and the presence of gruff, pot-bellied security
guards did nothing to quell the palpable excitement brewing in the throng. When
we were let in to the ‘holding area’, I was pleasantly surprised to see the
giant inflatable Death Star from LA hovering overhead, but the darkness of the
room, the black light, lasers and star field were a much better setting, and I
began to perk up. A glimpse of a life-size Jabba through the
door (different from the LA one) added fuel to my fanboy fire. A brief
moment of excitement when a temporary wall collapsed on the opposite line up
added to the drama of the moment. Thankfully nobody was hurt and the organisers
should thank their lucky stars that this was taking place in England, where
folks aren’t yet used to suing at every opportunity." |
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Neil - "When the eager crowd was finally
let in we went straight to the autograph voucher line, as acquiring Mark
Hamill’s siggy was one of our priorities. The line was mercifully short, and we
were told to return at 2:00 PM – little did we know we would be entering a
world of hurt at that time… That done, we then hightailed
it into the exhibition proper, and the first thing to strike me was the amount
of space available – there was room to breathe! As I meandered over to the
McQuarrie booth, I had a chance to take in the sights; an almost full size
AT-AT made a marvellous meeting point in the centre of the hall, a full size
snowspeeder sat parked on the carpet, its canopy open
for visitors to get behind the harpoon gun, a snowtrooper manned an E-web
mounted blaster and murky steam rose from the swamp of Dagobah,
where younglings were being invited to take on the dark side. In terms of
ambience and ‘Star Warsiness’ they had done a great job. We sat behind the
chess table on the deck of the Falcon, pondering whether to have a go at
the Tantive IV filming experience, or to try to find the Palitoy exhibition (we
did, finally, on the last day)." |
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Neil - "The artist alley was just that, a
narrow tunnel lined with the best illustrators in the galaxy, many familiar faces
from C IV and a couple of new ones. I said my hellos to those that knew me, and
sized up the prints I coveted – although the conversion bells kept going off in
my head as I realised that the print I wanted was double the price in dollars.
Trying to snap out of my currency woes I wandered into the seller’s area, which
seemed less manic than LA, actually rather polite. I walked past small objects
of desire, shielding my eyes from their plastic wondrousness, and breezed
around the fan club area admiring the commitment of the organisers, their
displays and their big hearts. There would be some happy charities at the end
of this event." |
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By this time the ordinary ones
(humans without fan club status) were starting to trickle in, but you wouldn’t
know it, there was still plenty of space to run around and visit every booth,
frantically scooping up freebies for the boys and girls back in the States.
This was no unscrupulous act though, I only grabbed a few extra Hasbro coins,
McQuarrie bookmarks and the such, just for my
collecting buddies, and they won’t end up being sold! As an aside, that night,
the freebie coins were already being sold on eBay for 5 quid… |
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| Neil - "As my entourage and I swanned
around the main floor, we took in the delights of the Lucasarts stand, which
was, not surprisingly, touting The Force Unleashed with great gusto. We
then descended on the Lego display, oohing and ahhing at the sight of so many little plastic bricks being
used in such a fantastic manner. The new Falcon was a sight to behold,
and the Mos Eisley docking
bay and surrounding area was a great way to show it off. Nearby
stood a huge sandcrawler, with a competition to guess
the number of bricks used. Judging from the entries on view, the answer
is somewhere between four thousand bricks and one and half million bricks.
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| After the youngest member of our
group (seven year old Bruce) received his stormtrooper tattoo, it was off to
the giant inflatable obstacle course. This was provided by the Army, and along
with the Navy’s climbing wall and display, these were the only two areas that
left a bitter taste in my mouth. Ok, so a large event needs sponsors, and I
have nothing against the fine men and women who serve our country, but what the
hell are two branches of the military doing at a Star Wars celebration? The
Royal Navy display showing clone troopers morphing into marines, an apache
helicopter on Geonosis and tanks alongside AT-TEs made me really mad.
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| Next up was Jedi training – on
Dagobah! The set that had been built for this event was fantastic, the twisted
roots and smoke added to the general ambience, and the volunteer Jedi masters
threw themselves into their roles with wild abandon. The Emperor made a scary
entrance, then brought out his puppy, Vader, and you could see the kids cringe
as he strode into their midst. The new younglings saw off the baddies with ease
(helped by a collective force push from the audience) and took their bows –
wonderful stuff. |
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| Neil - "A quick
jaunt around the rest of the stands, grabbing freebies and buying long sought
after items, and then it was time to join the queue for Mark Hamill.
Just to be on the safe side, we
returned at 1:30 – to be confronted by a mass of angry and
confused punters laying into a bemused security guard, plus
an abnormally long queue, which snaked around and out of the
autograph hall with no apparent beginning or end. People in
this mysterious line (a weekend-long phenomenon) were
getting agitated and were also being disowned by the
organisers, so tempers were simmering nicely |
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Following some aggressive
negotiations, my group was finally let into the main line, and we slowly made
our way towards the front, catching glimpses of Mark along the way.
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Suddenly, the security chaps began
forming a couple of new lines, and staggering the people who were sent forward
to the table of the Skywalker. |
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To say this caused a kerfuffle is an understatement, and as shouts were
exchanged between the lines, a shaven-headed thug with a neck like a Reek
finally boiled over, turning the line into battlefield as he screamed
expletives and threats at a guy next to him, both men reddening like angry
lobsters and balling their fists ready to bring the quaint old tradition of
British hooliganism to a Star Wars celebration. As people stepped out of the
line of fire, and we shielded the children with us, a couple of sensible types
stepped in between the idiots and calmed the situation down. The irony of all
this was that the British Bulldog who was ready to punch several colours of poodoo out of the other chap was holding his beloved Star
Wars annual under his arm, a remnant of happier times I guessed. Excitement
over, we finally reached Mark, and suddenly all tension was gone. He was
extremely friendly, chatty and more than happy to pose for pictures, despite
the protestations of his entourage. What a thrill. This was Mark Hamill, hero of the saga that I have loved for 30 years,
and now my day was complete. Was it worth 85 quid? Hell, yeah! |
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Ian - "As
the first day drew to a close, and we all assembled outside for the opening ceremonies,
I suddenly realized that I had achieved all of my goals in one fell swoop. I
had got my autographs, picked up my McQuarrie prints, bought stuff I didn’t
need, shown little Bruce a good time and met up with fellow bloggers
and other celebs. Now I could kick back and relax for
the next two days, and just soak up the atmosphere without any panicky running
around! The opening ceremonies were fun, Steve Sansweet looked a bit windswept,
Mark looked like he needed a Guinness, and Ian McDiarmid
was a joy to watch as he squirmed under the weight of public speaking and bad
puns (what a guy!) As the Tantive IV was boarded and a bunch of Rebels
in costume ran across the bottom of the screen, I reflected on a great day, and
went home tired but happy. Little did I know what the Dark Side had in store
for tomorrow…" |
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