lightsabre exclusive!

star wars is real!  tom cruise said so...

Jonathan Hicks reports from the fringes of sanity:

Star Wars fans rejoice, because it appears that the Star Wars mythos isn't just a story cooked up by a beardy, but a true incident which honestly, really, truthfully happened!

The following excerpt is from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenu -

'Hubbard said that the modern-day science fiction genre of space opera is merely an unconscious recollection of events, such as Xenu's mass murder, that really happened millions of years ago. Space opera is defined in the Official Scientology and Dianetics Glossary as follows:

of or relating to time periods . millions of years ago which concerned activities in this and other galaxies. Space opera has space travel, spaceships, spacemen, intergalactic travel, wars, conflicts, other beings, civilizations and societies, and other planets and galaxies. It is not fiction and concerns actual incidents and things that occurred on the whole track [in the past].'

Fantastic! So, no more of this 'it's just a made up load of old tosh' argument. According to a rum-drinking drug-taking hack sci-fi writer in the fifties, this stuff actually happened! Fantastic! I say - more power to the greedy money-making psyche twisting cults!

Jonathan Hicks does not endorse Scientologists, and actually thinks they're a bunch of loonies.

note - all views expressed within are the sole belief of Jonathan Hicks and do not reflect the wider thoughts of the Lightsabre staff.  the staff of Lightsabre do, however, believe that tom cruise is an overrated actor of soap opera ability who, instead of having his photo taken inside a box as above, should instead stand on one.