IMPERIAL RECRUITMENT FORM

So... You think you've got what it takes to be an Imperial, do you? Want to serve the glorious Emperor, do you? Well, we've got to make sure you fit the bill. You have to be smart, fast, and brutal.

Answer the questions below and tally your score. Then check out the table at the bottom and see if you'll be admitted to the ranks...

Question 1 - You see an old lady trying to cross the street. Do you...

(A) Offer her assistance, even ask drivers to halt whilst you help her across.

(B) Just walk on - she'll get across eventually.

(C) Stand behind her, making out your going to help, and give her a push when the number 12 bus comes along.

Question 2 - Whilst at a party you realise that you're pretty much being ignored. What will you do?

(A) Carry on as you are. If they wanted to talk to you, they would.

(B) Introduce yourself to a couple of people.

(C) Stand on a chair, shout for everyone's attention, and then tell them that they're going to have fun when you say so.

Question 3 - A fluffy little puppy runs up and starts to bark up at you. Do you...

(A) Ignore it.

(B) Pat it's head and smile.

(C) Throttle the little bugger, then take it back to its owner and kick the living crap out of them.

Question 4 - You realise that someone has pushed in front of you in a queue. What do you do?

(A) Forget it. It's only one more person in the line.

(B) Show your displeasure by tutting loudly and shaking your head.

(C) Shoot the bastard.

Question 5 - You have a choice of several musical pleasures. What will you listen to?

(A) Some classical. It soothes the nerves.

(B) A bit of rock. It makes you feel good.

(C) Hard core death thrash metal. It makes you want to drink vodka.

Question 6 - You find one thousand credits in a bag. What do you do?

(A) Hand it in to the nearest police station.

(B) Hang on to it, maybe take a little, and then hand it in.

(C) Blow it on booze, roulette and hookers. Actually, forget the roulette.

Question 7 - You find out that a neighbour has been spreading vicious rumours about you. Do you...

(A) Ignore it - you know the truth.

(B) Go round to his house and demand and explanation.

(C) Drive round in a large car with a loudspeaker on top, declaring your innocence and also what is wrong with the rumour spreader. Then bomb his house.

Question 8 - You find out that a marine mammal is highly intelligent. What do you do with this knowledge?

(A) Respect their position in the circle of life and just let them grow naturally.

(B) Research the intelligence, try to bring their brain power to the fore and tell others of your discovery.

(C) Tell them they are lesser beings and then put them to work in an underwater mining operation.

Question 9 - What are your views on personal freedom?

(A) It is the right of every being.

(B) It should exist within the boundaries of law to minimise conflict.

(C) What does 'freedom' mean?

Question 10 - What is 2 + 2 ?

(A) 4.

(B) 4.

(C) The formation for a forward tactical assault.

Question 11 - Imagine you are in a restaurant. A waitress approaches. What is the correct response to the following question; 'Would like some more wine, sir?'

(A) 'Yes, please.'

(B) 'Yes, thank you very much.'

(C) 'I'll tell you when I want wine! Drop the bottle! On the floor! Hands behind your head! Nobody move or I'll waste every muther-freakin one of you!'

Question 12 - Someone has smashed the window of your vehicle and made off with your stereo. What do you do?

(A) Call the police.

(B) Call the insurance agency.

(C) Call for an orbital bombardment.

Question 13 - Your boss has just shouted at you for being slack. Do you...

(A) Take the punishment and strive to work harder.

(B) State your case - you can't be walked over.

(C) Shiver uncontrollably and rub your throat.

Question 14 - You are boarding a ship for well-deserved cruise. After a long wait you finally get to the boarding ramp. What do you do?

(A) Just get on board.

(B) Complain to the ship staff because you've been kept waiting.

(C) Blow the door and cover your friends as you move in, guns blazing through the haze of smoke as you try to pick targets.

Question 15 - Your lover expresses love for you. What is your response?

(A) 'I love you, too'.

(B) 'I care for you, too.'

(C) 'My love is for the Emperor, not you. The Emperor is all. The Empire is all'.

So, tally your score and go to the chart below.

Mostly 'A' - You're a slack, indecisive weakling. You'll bear the brunt of anything and just get on with it. Welcome to the stormtrooper ranks.

Mostly 'B' - You're a little indecisive but you state your case. You just don't do it well enough. Well done, officer.

Mostly 'C' - You're a psycho maniac, evil and twisted. Here's you're black uniform, my Lord.

Congratulations!