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Worst Things to Say to Darth
Vader Words of wit and wisdom by Mark Newbold
It’s a commonly known fact that for a comedian, Darth
Vader makes a good gynaecologist. The
Lord–formerly-known-as-Anakin has been the cause of more misery than passing
out on a first date, kissing toadstools or eating 80-year-old pie. Let’s face it; Darth has got a face even
his mother couldn’t love. So, in
tribute to the baddest dude in the galaxy (after Wicket W Warwick of course)
here are a list of things NOT to say to the dark
Lord of the sith… Things Not to Say to Darth
Vader 1 - “...And you think YOU'VE got problems!
2 - "Hey
Vadey-baby, love the new pad. Great view of Coruscant. Hope you like the
moving in present." *sound of wrapping paper being opened*
"It's one of those really cool 70's style lava lamps...hey, what's
the matter man, you got a problem with lava? No, no,
NO...ARRGGHH!!!"
3 - “Do you know pink is the new
black?”
4 - “I use to have a fender that
looked like you...”
5 - “Do you use Turtle wax or
boot polish?”
6 - “That metal thing over your
mouth. Is that one of those
George Foreman grills?”
7 - “Oh I’m sorry,
I thought it was all a fashion statement.”
8 - “Can I borrow your helmet,
it’s Halloween and I want to go scare some kiddies.”
9 - “I heard the funniest thing
today. Someone told me your
nickname was Annie!!”
10 - “Hey, yo! Man in black! Sing Ring of Fire!” 10 things NOT to buy Darth Vader for his next birthday
...and now in Portugese, courtesy of our good friend João Pinto at Fan Force Portugal...
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