YOU KNOW YOU’RE A STAR WARS FAN WHEN.......

By Jonathan Hicks…he has learned much, young one.

1. You think your TV remote is a lightsabre.

2. All the sounds on your computer are either Artoo or Threepio.

3. When you’re about to finish a long job you mutter ‘almost there…’

4. You try to convince your girlfriend to glue burnt muffins to the sides of her head.

5. When you see something you like you say, in low deep voice, ‘impressive.’

6. You think wearing knee-high boots on the outside of your trousers is actually quite cool.

7. Your car is called ‘the Falcon’.

8. When you’re sweeping up you can’t help but spin the broom and go ‘vhrmmmmmm’.

9. Most people look at the stars and remember the best things about their lives. When you do it you imagine an X-wing pulling a split-S dive, levelling out and totalling two TIE Fighters.

10. When a supermarket checkout bleeps you can’t help but say ‘thank you, Artoo.’

11. A new member in the football team is ‘a powerful ally’.

12. When your girlfriend/boyfriend says ‘I love you’ you say ‘I know’.

13. Every time you see a dwarf you wonder if they were in Return of the Jedi.

14. There is no way on this God’s Earth the action figure you bought for a child is ever going to removed from its box.

15. You’re not quite sure where to put your copy of the Phantom Menace on the video shelf - before or after the original trilogy? Or in the middle of the re-mastered set, the original releases and before the Special Edition box set?

16. You know for a fact that an Imperial Star Destroyer could total half of Star Trek’s vessels.

17. You don’t care how something works – it just does.

18. You know you should hate Jar Jar Binks, but he’s a Star Wars character, so you can’t.

19. Any notebooks at work are filled with doodles of TIE Fighters, lightsabres and Star Destroyers…

20. …and battle droids.

21. Your TV remote is also a communicator, a blaster and a droid control unit. And when you change channels you go ‘pyoo!’.

22. You try to ignore any midichlorian references.

23. A walk in the park is actually a trek through Endor’s landscape.

24. Any overweight friends you have are ‘always thinking with their stomach’.

25. It’s not a watch – it’s a chronometer.

26. It’s not a car – it’s a speeder.

27. You thank God for George Lucas’ mother giving birth.

28. Any mistakes in the films are not mistakes – they were put there on purpose to see if people would notice.

29. When you’re on a plane and it’s in final approach, you wish some form of ground defence would open up and the captain shout ‘this is it!’ over the address system.

30. You’ve nodded or smiled whilst reading this list