Testing

2003 short story by Jonathan Hicks

Six years after Episode IV – A New Hope

CAWBATE SYSTEM

Program locked.

Here we go.

“What the hell is this?” Gern Omik shouted, his arms waving wildly, slamming his bag with the credit payment on the desk. A small furred creature chattered as it draped about his neck and his vibrosword hummed, hanging firmly from his back. His heavily veined flap of skin that stood proudly from his head pulsed with blood and flushed with colour.

“It was supposed to be three parts in six,” he growled, drawing himself up and glaring down at the human female who stood a little shorter than him. “This is three parts in eight! Are you trying to rip me off?”

Positioning targets.

Ready when you are, number two.

“Ah, blow it out your nose, scaly,” Luschia Arkensaw said with a flick of her hair. She placed a long box she had in her hands on the table next to her, and gathered her long blonde locks in her hands and tied it into a rough knot behind her head. “You really expect me to mix this kind of sugar with three parts in six? Customs would have jumped me at the first checkpoint.”

“That’s not my problem,” Gern snarled, his saliva steaming as it fell from his jaw and splashed on the floor.

Do we have verification, yet?

Luschia Arkensaw, Gern Omik, and the fifteen others scattered about the area. I’d say most of them were Gern’s Gunnas, so this must be a serious meet.

Okay. I’ll go when you say so.

“Not your problem?” Luschia gawked at the lizard. “Do me a favour, you big green prune-headed moron. Do you think I flew halfway across this sector to have you moan at me at the quality of the sugar?” She motioned at the clear cases filled with the white crystals. “You should be glad I got here at all. I deserve a bonus for the risks I took getting that crap here. Ungrateful rat-faced stinker.”

Gern appeared he was about to explode.

“You… you… human! How dare you come into my lair and speak to me like that?”

“A lair?” Luschia laughed in his face, either ignorant or dismissive of the danger she was putting herself in simply by continuing to talk. “This old floating factory? Get real, flaphead. Now, you gonna pay me, or what? Or do I have to get stone age on your butt?”

There was a stunned silence, and then Gern roared his anger to the piped ceiling of the huge floating factory rig, a mile from the Cawbate’s surface. Condensed water dripped from a multitude of pipes, old machinery rusted and flaked all about the area, and old service droids clicked ineffectively, trying to complete decades old programming but physically incapable of doing it.

The roar echoed through the halls. Luschia smiled, and rested her hand on the long sealed box she had placed by the clear containers of sugar.

She’s pushing it.

Stand by. We need a definitive handover.

She’s going to get herself killed.

Stand by!

“Pay you? Pay you?” Gern gripped his vibrosword and unsheathed it. The men around him started to leisurely reach for their own weapons, smiling with anticipation. “You should pay me, you arrogant female! I’m not going to negotiate with you!”

“Fair enough,” Luschia answered with a cock of her head. She unclipped the fasteners on the long box and opened it slightly, stopping to look at Gern. “I bought this in case things went awry.”

She flipped open the box and hefted out her huge BAR-4 rifle, over-and-under twin barrel, with what appeared to be two miniature rocket launchers mounted on the side. Gern balked. The beings with him hesitated with uncertainty.

Luschia smiled.

“Negotiate with this, then, scuzzbucket.”

Oh, dammit! Go! Go! Go!

There was a flare and a noise like lightning.

Luschia Arkensaw, her dark flying clothes doing nothing for her lithe figure, stood with the rifle at her hip. It glared like a strobe light, the bolts it issued tore through the air and ripped into the old machinery scattered about. Explosions echoed through the room, smoke and ozone filled the air and debris flew in all directions. Gern Omik, shocked at the sudden fury of the attack, back-pedalled almost comically and tripped over a discarded power converter.

The men around him initially panicked – a small human female with such a large gun? The concept was laughable, up until the point two of their number were flung back several meters by the sheer power of the energy bolts. Their smoking forms had hardly hit the ground and they were all diving for cover, behind containers or under old machinery. Some fired back ineffectively.

Any normal being, outnumbered heavily, would have cut their losses and headed back to their ship. But Luschia hadn’t been paid. With amazing dexterity she jumped on the desk covered in the sugar and kicked off a couple of the containers to make space. The clear boxes smashed onto the floor, scattering their glittering white contents all over the rusty, oil-stained panels. She paused for a moment, waiting for some of the hiding beings to put their heads up, and with a laugh started firing again. More explosions tore apart the room.

“For frecks sake, she’s one human!” Gern roared from behind the safety of a heavy repulsor engine block. “Get her!”

The beings shouted obscenities and gathered their courage, popping up as the assault of red energy passed over their heads, pulling off shots as accurately as they could. When one bolt too many sizzled past Luschia’s head, she decided that standing in full view was, whilst imposing, very stupid. With one foot she scooped up Gern’s credit bag and flipped it into the air, catching it in one hand as she continued firing with the other, the rifle nestled in the crook of her arm. She jumped down from the table and headed back to the exit, knowing that she had to climb several levels before getting back to the starship she had stolen.

The beings noticed her retreat, and so they took this as a good sign, coming out of their hiding places with the intention of giving chase. They had hardly taken a step, however, when the second incident occurred.

A skylight high above them smashed, the slivers of glass falling like shimmering stars, the framework coming away as one large ring. The gunmetal grey figure descended on pillars of fire, the jetpack roaring and popping as it fell at an impossible speed to the floor, connecting heavily and denting the panels. The figure was heavy set, with armoured covers over arms and legs, unadorned, and a heavy chest plate, plain and unmarked. The helmet was almost featureless, a chrome and grey egg with no discernable view port.

“Setnin Justice Department!” the new arrival shouted, the voice amplified by the helmet. “You’re all under arrest!”

The new arrival was welcomed with a hail of blaster bolts.

It shifted quickly down into a crouch, then rolled forward, a blaster pistol appearing its hand. There were three sharp shots and three beings jerked and fell. Another blast from its pistol seared dangerously close to Gern, and he took that as his cue to leave. But Setnin Justice Department? Watching his movements? The whole thing stunk of a sell-out! Luschia would pay for this!

Luschia saw the new arrival and she gaped – S.J.D? Here? The whole damn thing was a set-up! Gern would pay for this! She wildly fired to keep the S.J.D figure down, not wanting to hit him, as shooting a law officer was not a good idea at the best, even the worst, of times, and headed for the stairs to the upper level.

She got to the top of the stairs to be greeted by a large slab of hull plating being used to block the corridor. Several of Gern’s goons were using it as cover, firing at her as she dodged to one side, trying to block her escape. She tilted her head as if insulted by the idea they could trap her, and she hefted the rifle and thumbed a switch. The rocket launcher on the side of the rifle ejected a small missile, which ignited its own engine as it cleared the tube, and it sped down the hall and into the slab of metal. The explosion tore a hole in the plating and flung the beings back, some carried by the explosion through the cracked windows that looked out over the fields of clouds. The survivors ran away, blaster fire from Luschia’s weapon flying over their heads. Luschia, her adrenaline raging, ran after them.

“What’s the matter?” she bellowed. “Too spicy for ya?”

Luschia’s making a break for it.

Let her go. Stay on Gern. He’s the one we want.

But there has been no handover, the deal wasn’t completed.

Just get him! Stun only!

Gern heaved the wounded man pleading for his help out of the way, trying to get to the stairwell that spiralled down to his waiting starship. He grabbed hold of the rungs and glanced back to see how his men were dealing with the S.J.D man.

Two of his men were staggering back under a hail of blue stun rings, falling like dolls to the plates with painful thumps, unconscious before they realised what had hit them. The figure of the S.J.D officer was leaping through the air, the jets of the pack sending him into a mid-air spin as red bolts criss-crossed the area where he had been, and he landed deftly just behind the huge lizard. Gern, knowing that climbing would make him vulnerable, levelled his vibrosword at the suited figure.

“If you think you can…” and with that Gern Omik fell unconscious under a hail of blue stun shots. The S.J.D man spun to take care of the rest of the beings in the station.

Gern down and secured.

Right – get after Luschia, if you can!

Copy that.

Luschia head-butted the raggedy human trying to wrestle her from the ramp of her stolen starship, and swiftly kicked him between the legs as he staggered back. The man yowled pitifully, but a swing of the heavy bag full of credits silenced him and sent him tumbling from the access way and to the hangar floor. Luschia giggled as she dived into the small ship, closed the doors and ran to the cockpit.

“Always people trying to kill me,” she said to herself, and she hit the boosters. The idling engines roared into life and she shot out of the hangar doors to safety.

MOON OF BENESK, YATCHRARE SYSTEM

Two days later

“Well?” Goah Galletti said, motioning to the gunmetal grey ‘droid with an egg-shaped head standing next to him.

The Commander-in-Chief of the S.J.D looked from the ‘droid to the businessman from Coruscant, then back at the holovid recording of the operation on a floating factory on Cawbate.

“A ‘droid did that?” he said with amazement.

Goah smiled knowingly.

“Latest in the Law Initiative Explorations line from Securicon Inc on Coruscant. An up and coming business, but nonetheless effective. Fair enough, we could only prosecute Gern with possession, after most of the sugar blew out of the holes Luschia made with her gun, but that wasn’t the ‘droids fault and, anyway, it was just a test mission. Three months incarceration gets him off the streets for a while.”

The S.J.D head nodded, and fell into his high-backed chair with a flustered expression.

“I always thought ‘droids to be less than effective.”

“Oh, as far as investigations go, they’re no match for organics, but on the spot work? You’ll not get a better deal. Five standard years full parts and memory warranty, an extended power cell for long operations, interchangeable mission settings to suit the regional laws of whatever planet you see fit to station them on with on-board tactical representation software, and personality matrices to rival even the best A.I most organic-facing top-class ‘droids are fitted with. One hundred of these class A’s will help with direct operations all over the sector, and the thousands of class B’s will be ready in a month for street beats. I can honestly say you’re recruiting problem in the S.J.D will become virtually non-existent. A law ‘droid on every corner of every major city. Imagine that.”

The S.J.D head thought about it for a moment, and then looked slyly at Goah. “You said earlier, that you’re just the broker for this, and you don’t want any mention in this affair. Why is that, Mister Heeks?”

“Criminal elements, if they find out where the ‘droids were purchased and directly supplied from, might try to compromise them by tracking their abilities to the source. I’m simply protecting your investment and myself.” Goah adjusted his necktie. He didn’t like his cover name, Mister Heeks, because it sounded a little foolish. Still, it was better for him to remain incognito at this early stage.

There was a long pause, until finally the S.J.D head stood and stuck out a pincer.

“Mister Heeks,” he said with a click of his mandibles, “you got a deal.”

Goah smiled.

SECURE COMM 52148/5546

The law ‘droids have been accepted.

Good work, Mister Galletti. Return to Coruscant.

Yes, sir.

Testing

2003 short story by Jonathan Hicks

Six years after Episode IV – A New Hope

Histories – One of only a handful of occasions that the real Galletti returns to the Setnin Sector after his relocation to the Core Worlds, this story also shows the S.J.D and the levels they are prepared to go to stop the growth of underworld elements on the streets of the Setnin Sector. As well as this, it also shows Luschia Arkensaw in her element, wheeling and dealing with the scum of the sector.

Cast of Characters

Gern Omik

Luschia Arkensaw

Real Goah Galletti