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Mothers Pride 2004 short story by Mark Newbold Three years after Episode IV – A New Hope It was dusk as the Berone
Sunrise swung low across the hills of the Ponon Pass and through the
valley toward Ponon City, his destination.
Sun was casting its last light onto the purple skies and rich green
fields of A-desando as the Stock Heavy Freighter decelerated and swung its
nose around to land softly in the wide courtyard of the Lomona estate. Power systems and engines auto-cooled as
her captain Jan Lomona blew out a long breath and shut down the Sunrises systems, closing his eyes as
he laid his head on the rest behind him. It had been over a month since his father’s death on
Entall. A small Rebel force had
managed to evade capture during a conflict known as the Entall Engagement,
and had launched a retaliatory strike against his fathers Imperial forces,
mowing most of them down. Jan’s
father, a general in the Imperial army, was one of the many victims and as a
high ranking officer had been afforded the honour of a full military funeral
on his birth world of Halando. But for
a multitude of reasons - bad timing, too much work and a genuine desire not
to attend, Jan was not present. At the
moment his father’s remains were laid to rest, Jan was ferrying two Rebel
operatives off Zelon and desperately evading Imperial capture. Kinda ironic, if
you think about it. Which I try not
to. Jan composed himself and pushed out of his seat towards
the main lounge area where Aurran was busying himself with his usual chores and
duties. Jan could hear his Astromech
Troopie working away in the engine compartment and smiled, knowing that for at
least two of the ships three-man crew it would be business as usual. Until that very moment it had been just
that for Jan but he knew that would change.
Every time he had dealings with his family or the world of A-desando
in general it did. Jan was atypical for an A-desandian. Brash, confident in his abilities, a great
talker, a skilled pilot and gunman and possessing a knack of allowing his
reputation to shine brighter than his actual achievements. He knew that it was often this excellent
reputation that afforded him the jobs he was given and the comfortable life
he led, but he didn’t lose any sleep over that. After all, he was still alive and in one
piece, and the reputation remained intact.
Jan paused as Aurran turned to face him. “Any special
instructions Master Jan?” droned Aurran in his measured baritone, a voice as
familiar and welcome to Jan as any family.
Jan shook his head and slapped opened the interior hatch. “Nope, just keep
her warm in case we need to scratch gravel quick.” He took an intake of the crisp night air as
the ramp lowered and home hit his senses.
“This is A-desando. You never
know what’s gonna happen.” “Indeed. Take care sir. Comm. lines open.” “Comm. lines open
old buddy.” Confirmed Jan, nodding to his automated friend as he strode down
the ramp and across the landing pad onto the path that led the few hundred
meters towards the main house. It was
softly lit, and in the light the centuries old property looked warm and
welcoming, but inside his guts were churning and he chided himself for
feeling so uneasy. In the last few
days and weeks he had aided Glann Cipple to return a corrupt Imperial governor
to office on Amagad, worked with Ryath Centaur, Goah
Galletti, Mactin Selka and Nias Derril on Chancai, rescued two Rebel
operatives from Imperial capture, worked for Jabba the Hutt on the Rim,
secretly helped one of Cipple’s former employees escape from Wennicas and
completed thirty five unremarkable runs for various operators. But none of those activities gave him the
queasy stomach he had now. Walking the
line was his job, and he lived for it.
As he stood on the porch of his families second home he felt as if the
line had become a noose and it was slowly being lowered over his head. He knocked the door and waited. Through the glass of the door he could see
a gleaming droid, white and black, march towards the entry and for a second
he thought it was no droid but a Stormtrooper and his senses heightened. But he again kicked himself for his
nervousness as the door opened and a new, unfamiliar droid beckoned him
in. He entered the house and paused a
moment, taking it all in. What had
once been so familiar and natural felt alien and unreal, and he caught
himself figuring that it had been about fifteen years since he had stepped
foot in his families second home. He
had been back for funerals and important family gatherings but had always
remained aboard the Sunrise, or
blasted off within hours of arrival.
His life was a busy one – at least that was his excuse. Truth be told, he felt like a troublesome
child every time he came to A-desando and that hurt because he was proud to
represent his homeworld wherever he travelled. After all, A-desando wasn’t known for its
smugglers, and he was among the best in the sector. The droid led him away from the large hall that opened up
into the kitchen area and veered left, around the huge circular steps of the
staircase into the main lounge. It was
dark, lit only by candles, and in the centre of the room where he expected to
see the old leather couch they had always owned he instead saw an oval bed,
swathed in sheets and pillows. And at
the very top of the bed he saw his mother. Jan looked down at the droid and waited for it to leave
mother and son alone. He remained
still until the door closed behind him and he moved a step closer. Sieera lay in a cradle of pillows, looking
smaller than Jan remembered, frail and weak, but Jan knew that her body was
only a vessel for a fierce will that burned within and he steeled himself for
her first words. He knew they would sting like a Janite whip and he winced as
he recalled what that felt like first hand. Sieera opened her eyes slowly, not a flicker of warmth or
recognition registering therein, and beckoned him closer. Jan kept his face neutral and took a step
forward. “So, you finally
came.” She croaked her voice uneven and broken. Jan nodded curtly. “I’ve been
busy. Business. You know how it is.” “Actually I
don’t. Been too busy burying my
husband.” Jan looked away, at a loss for a response. He knew he should have made the effort to come
back, swallowed his hurt and his pride, but too many barbs and cuts nicked at
him and he couldn’t bring himself to relent to the initial reaction to his
father’s death. He had read the
letter-search on a crisp Amagad morning as he sat at the foot of his ramp
talking to his friend Grin, and remembered that he had shown no emotion, no
remorse. He might well as have been
reading a tax return for all the impact it had on him. His father was dead, the funeral was in
three weeks and he was expected to be there.
He had folded the flim of the letter-search, placed it in his top pocket
and took a stroll to Glanns Fortress with Grin, discussing the chances of the
Zelon Flyers against the Amagad Assassins in the Hardball Championship that night. Jan found himself at a loss for words. “How was the
funeral?” he asked, instantly regretting the vacuous nature of the question
but still struggling for something to say.
Sieera raised an arched eyebrow. “Oh, wonderful.
The priest said some words about your father’s loyalty to the Empire, we threw dirt on his coffin and then came back
here for the wake.” She twisted her
lip at her only son. “What do you
think?” Jan looked away again, cursing himself for his empty
head. I knew what I was going to say, ran it over and over in my mind. How does she always manage to do this to
me? Sieera sat up higher in her bed and arranged the cushions
to make her position more comfortable.
Jan took a chance and pulled a chair from across the room and seated
himself near the foot of the bed. She
blew out a long breath and eyed him for a long minute as Jan returned the
look. Finally she spoke. “The doctors tell
me I only have a few months to live.”
She tapped her chest. “Bad
heart.” “Didn’t realise
you had one.” Jan spoke the words before they registered in his mind
but Sieera didn’t appear offended by his quick remark and gave him a typical
Lomona smile. “Apparently I
do. It’s an inherited heart disorder,
passed down from my side of the family.
Starts in the heart and threads its way through the nervous system. Luude had it, that’s why he couldn’t fight
off the virus that killed him.” Jan
thought back to his elder brother Luude, Sieeras’ second son, who had died
aged nine of a mystery virus and lowered his head at the thought of his
sibling. “You were checked out when
you were a baby. Lucky for you, you
have the heart of a Bantha.” Jan raised an eyebrow and looked out of the window. “Lucky me. It’s been broken enough.” Sieera closed her eyes and shook her head, a look of
annoyance washing over her face. “Don’t give me that,
you break your own heart.” She pointed
a bony finger at him. “How long have
you messed Frans around, eh?” She
looked away again and plumped a cushion.
“Granted, she’s not good enough for any other Lomona, but dammit she’s
more than good enough for you. When
are you going to do right by her?
Broken heart.” She snorted back
a laugh. “You don’t know the meaning
of the word.” Jan stood to his feet and moved a step closer to Sieera,
anger etched on his face. “And what exactly
would you know about my heart? You shut me off years ago, so I did the same to you. Remember?
After Luude died, when Hijjin left to go to military school? I could have packed a bag and left then and
you and Dad wouldn’t have noticed.” Sieera swelled at this, all her vigour and bile rising to
the surface. “Your father
tried his best to do right by you, but you were too busy building swoops with
that Trandoshan boy, getting arrested and missing school.” Sieera sat up even further. “You disobeyed me and your father at every
turn, flaunting the rules of the house.
And then, just as I thought we were beginning to understand each
other, you left.” She looked away and
paused, gathering her thoughts and collecting her words. “You left me.” What are you on
about woman? Thought
Jan to himself as he watched his mother slump back
into the pillows and close her eyes, her breathing heavy and rasping. He glanced away and composed himself. “You and Dad
spent the last fifteen years sniping at me through friends and family.” He glanced across the room to a family
portrait of the five of them – Sieera, his father Narn, himself and his
brothers Luude and Hijjin. Four of
them smart and crisp, dressed in sharp suits with immaculate hair and six
year old Jan in purple and red combat jeans and an oily green t-shirt, his
already long hair a tousled mess. “The
last time I saw Hijjin alive he told me what you’d been saying. I knew I wasn’t welcome on A-desando
anymore, so I stayed away.” He pointed
a finger back at Sieera. “I did what you wanted Mom.” She lowered her eyes, pain scanning across her features
as she thought of her beloved eldest son Hijjin, dead now for six years, and searched
for the words she wanted. Clearly this
was turning out to be as difficult an encounter for Sieera as it was for Jan. “You need to
understand. Luude was dead, and then
we moved out here. Hijjin joined the
forces with your father, and they were shipped out. All I had was you.” Sieera looked to the window and the silhouette
of the Sunrise beyond. “And you flew away.” “Mom, you made
me feel like such a…a failure I had no choice. I was never gonna live up to Luude’s
memory, or Hijjins standards. I never
wanted to join the forces, you both knew that. A-desando held nothing for me. I guess I’ve always gone my own way. Still do.”
Jan scratched his cheek and cocked his head. “So if you felt like I abandoned you, why
the hate? You never thought much of me
as a kid, I was a waste of time at school. You already had two boys you could be proud
of, so why the sudden change?” Sieera shook her head sadly. “When you have
children, and I hope some day you do, then you’ll understand.” “Err, actually,
there’s something I should probably tell you.” Jans mind flashed to his newly found
daughter Paige, the fourteen year old girl who had searched through the
galaxy to find the father she had never known, but thought better of it. Perhaps now was not the time. He quickly changed tack. “But that’s not important right now. You didn’t ask me to come all the way back
here so you could tell me how upset you are that I didn’t make Dad’s
funeral. And you could have told me
about your illness in a letter.” He
felt suddenly cold inside at how clinically he was dealing with the impending
death of his mother and the recent demise of his father. Gods
help me; I’m turning into my parents. “What
do you really want to talk about?” Sieera raised an eyebrow at his directness and a look of
approval crossed her face. She nodded
as she sat up again and reached for a datapad that sat on the table next to
the oval bed. Activating it she
scrolled down to the page she required, read for a moment and laid it
down. Jan watched this in fascination,
the soft candlelight illuminating their meeting, and waited. “Your father, despite
what you may have thought about him, was a very important man. Our marriage united the four bloodlines of
Halando and A-desando, making the Lomonas a powerful family.” She cleared her throat. “As you know, A-desandian governorships are
hereditary, and with the blessing of the Empire your father was next in line
to accept the governorship of Ecaps City.”
She paused as she saw the light go on in Jans mind. “With your father and your elder brothers
dead and me unable to accept given my health that responsibility falls to
you.” Jan stared at the floor in shocked silence. This was too much to take in. His father’s death, his mother’s terminal
illness and now this. He drew a deep
breath, his eyes fixed on the carpet, his hands clasped together. Sieera waited for him to gather himself and
spoke in a low measured tone. “Do you realise
what an honour this is? A-desando’s
prime city is being offered to you on a plate. You
Jan, a common smuggler and thief. Fate
has conspired to hand to you what others have fought their entire lives
for. Power. Influence.
Wealth and riches.” She
suddenly leaned up straight and grabbed Jan by the wrist, and the strength
there surprised him. “Take it
son. Make something of your life. Make a difference. Don’t let your fathers sacrifice be in vain.” Jan turned glassy eyes towards his mother and furrowed
his brow in confusion. “Sacrifice? What
sacrifice? He was a professional
soldier in a pointless war. That’s not
a sacrifice, it’s in the job description.” He stood to his feet and paced around the
room while his mother watched impassively.
Despite their long estrangement she still knew her son as well as
anybody, and gave him time to collect his thoughts. He pinched his brow and closed his eyes as
he spoke. “Mom, I can’t do this. I have a life, responsibilities. I know it’s not what you’d call a life but I’m an important man in my own
circles. I have friends who depend on
me, a satisfying job, a fiancé.” He paused as he made an internal
choice. “Paige, my fourteen year old daughter.” Sieeras eyes widened in surprise but she
asked no questions. “My own life is
complicated enough as it is without…this.”
He shook is head and turned to the window, his beloved Sunrise glinting in the soft mauve
evenings starlight. His face turned
away from Sieera and he allowed himself a sad smile. “I’m a proud A-desandian; I know how
important this position is. I know
it’s a privilege only a handful attain.
But Mom,” he turned back to face her.
“I’m going to have to say no.” Her face remained static but the disappointment was
evident nonetheless. She seemed to
shrink back into the cushions of the bed, the fight drained from her and she
lifted a glass of water to her lips.
Jan watched as she finished her drink and returned her gaze to him. “That’s your
final word?” Jan nodded slowly. “Yes Mom, it
is.” “You won’t
honour your father? Or my dying
wishes? You would rather squander your
brother’s inheritance; cast aside you’re A-desandian heritage for the fools’
life of a smuggler.” Jan drew a deep breath through his nostrils. “Well I wouldn’t
put it quite like that, but…” He paused as her words sank into him like
stones in quicksand. What if she was right?
What if, for once in his life, the advice and guidance of his mother
was for his betterment not detriment?
Thirty years of constant criticism had hardened him to taking advice
from anyone, especially his family.
What if this time she was right?
He caught himself frozen in a logic loop and saw his mothers’
expectant eyes watching him. He raised
his head and locked eyes with hers.
“Give me some time. If I do
this there’s a lot to organise. I’m
not saying yes,” he added hurriedly.
“But I’m not saying no either.” He gave her an easy smile and looked at the picture of
the five of them again, back in simpler days.
Perhaps not any happier, but certainly less complicated. Sieera followed his eyes and smiled
herself. “I miss them
too.” She said in a soft voice. Jan
nodded and glanced at mother as he began to walk out of the soft lit room. “Yeah, me
too. Then one of them could have this
dumb job instead of me.” He let slip a
lopsided grin and nodded at her as he closed the double doors to the living
room. “Get some rest Mom. I’ll be in touch soon.” “Clear skies
son.” Aurran was tightening the ramps hydraulic system as Jan
walked past him and patted the old droid on the shoulder as he slumped into
the acceleration couch that sat opposite the ramp way. Aurran continued his greasy work as Troopie
trundled past, whistling happily to himself. “Is everything
alright Master Jan?” Jan raised his eyebrows and emptied his pockets of
rubbish he’d managed to accumulate over the past few days before slipping out
of his long jacket. He noticed in the
bundle of flims and blaster clips the letter-search he’d been sent regarding
his fathers death. He paused for a
second and nodded. “I think
so. Me and
Mom still don’t get on, but she’s given me plenty to think about.” Aurran turned, an oily rag in his hands, photoreceptors
glowing. “Anything I can
help with?” Jan winked at his friend and rose to his feet, bound for
the safe cocoon cockpit of his cockpit. “I’ll let you
know in the morning. I’m beat.” Jan closed the door to the cockpit and slowly eased into
the seat. He ran his hands across the immaculately
clean console and took a long hard look at the heart of his beloved
ship. Am I ready to give all this up?
I’m at the top of my game.
Glann needs me, Jabba uses me all the time. I walked away once before and came back in
a month. He activated the swift
engine start and revved the powerful thrusters of the Berone Sunrise. Is this game really in my blood or do I
belong on A-desando? On her repulsors the Sunrise
took a low, silent pass over his mothers’ house, and as Jan looked down he
could swear he saw her watching from the lounge window. He flashed the headlights and lifted her
nose high, corkscrewing into the darkening night skies towards his next
mission. Whatever that may be. Mothers Pride 2004 short story by Mark Newbold Three years after Episode IV – A New Hope Histories – A story that has plot origins
stretching right back to 1982’s Quest
for Freedom. In that story we found
Jan Lomona as Governor of Ecaps City on
A-desando, back when Jan was a minor character in a story that was
primarily about Lando Calrissian and Chewbacca. Over the years of NHP tapes, Roleplay
and Lightsabre stories Jan has
evolved into one of Setnins major
characters, a free trader, father
and fighter in the New Underworld Age. So how to explain his brief tenure as a
city governor? This story, along with Throwing it all Away gives those
explanations. Cast of Characters Jan Lomona Sieera Cetting Lomona Aurran Troopie |