Everybody Wants Some

1988/1999 short story by Mark Newbold

One year after Episode IV - A New Hope

Jan wiped a muddy arm across his forehead and cursed mutely.  His eyes darted back and forth like fireflies at the slightest movement, his head filled with frantic thoughts. Well, that's the last time I keep a secret from a client, he thought.  Especially Glann Cipple.

It was bad, whichever way he viewed it.  He was holed up in a warehouse on the wet and windy world of Lifferia being tracked down by four of Cipple's gunmen who were moving perilously close to his position.  He spun around and closed his eyes in frustration.  Damn that run out to the Quarshannel Sector.  I knew I should have let it pass.  I don't know why Glann sent me in the first place.  He never has any luck out there anyway.  He peered over the lip of the crate to view his situation - it was growing steadily worse by the second.  Glann can't blame me for picking up a contact of my own while I was out there.  Can he?

Jan barely saw the Blaster butt as it swung down towards his head and he overbalanced back into a stack of empty crates, avoiding the impact but blowing his precarious cover.  Jan’s assailant, a broad, hooded alien yelled out to his companions for assistance.  Jan saw his opening and sprung forward from his sprawled position, over a crate and into the jaw of the gunman, hammer-sized fist first.  The alien crumpled under Jan's weight as he dived onto him and hit the floor hard with a crack.  One down, three to put to bed.  Jan smiled broadly.  Sweet dreams sucker.

Jan stooped to conceal his great height and scuttled along the row of crates.  Footsteps from one of the other gunmen echoed to his immediate left and Lomona moved diagonally to intercept.  This gunman seemed more confident, giving the aura of honed experience.  Chances are this guy has already figured out where I am, and what I'm doing.  Jan looked more closely at the gunman as he passed by the crack of another crate.  He was sure he had seen him somewhere before but he couldn't place him.  Only one way to find out. 

Lomona waited on the corner of the avenue of crates until the gunman stalked past and then casually swung out a foot.  The man hit the floor with a thud and in a second Jan was on top of him wrapping a hand over his surprised mouth.

   "I'm at a distinct advantage."  Whispered Jan into the gunman's ear.  "One false move and I pop the cork, get my drift?" 

The man nodded slowly as Jan raised him up and led him out of the alleyway and into the shadows.  Jan disarmed the man and secured the Blaster into his left thigh holster, which was usually empty.  Now he had two guns, which definitely gave him the advantage.

   "I can't place you but I know we've met before."

The man shook his head and began to struggle furiously.  Jan frowned and checked his chrono.

   "Uh-oh.  0400 hours.  Lights out."  Jan swiftly fastdrew the mans Blaster and with a deft flick switched the setting from kill to stun.  Concentric circles flashed and the man was introduced to unconsciousness in a second.  That was set to kill.  Glann must really be angry. 

Jan hoisted the man onto his shoulder and began to work his way out through the maze of crates, aware that there were still two other gunmen on the prowl for him and a speeder outside.  And if these were any indication of Cipple's intentions, they were playing for keeps.

Jan had downed the Berone Sunrise on Lifferia for a break from the insanities of hyperspace and a chance to rest his weary bones.  His journey out to the Quarshannel Sector with his colleagues the assassin Goah Galletti and the older smuggler Anzai Karoo had been exerting and he welcomed the opportunity to get some respite from the onslaught of work.  Not that he disliked being busy, far from it.  Jan Lomona was amongst the hardest working smugglers in the Setnin Sector and had built his reputation upon that.  Over a decade of running for the premiere ganglords of the Mid and Outer Rims had made him a name worthy of constant employment. 

Until a comedy of errors in the Quarshannel Sector.

The mission had taken longer than expected and Galletti, Karoo and himself had split up in order to locate the major organisations within the sector.  They were expected - Cipple's name carried weight, even within the usually enclosed borders of Quarshannel.  But despite intense negotiations and bargaining none of them could broker a deal.  And so, admitting defeat the three contacted each other and agreed to meet up at a point in deep space where they would begin their journey back to Setnin.

And Glann Cipple's displeasure.

That was the part Jan was least looking forward to.  He was unfamiliar with failure.  For so many years things had run like clockwork.  A new contact here led to a new mission there that led to a better job over there.  One thing seemed to run effortlessly into another, so when the Quarshannel job went belly-up he didn't know how to take it.  And so, three days before he was due to rendezvous with Galletti and Karoo he took a final stab at making a contact, anyone at all just to give him a hold in the sector.  And he found it in the unlikeliest of places.

The Berone Sunrise, like every other ship before her required regular power-ups and flight checks and after all the many days of travel through unfamiliar territory, dodging black holes and dustcloud nebulas, pirate raiding parties and other alien obstacles she needed some juice.  So Lomona docked her at the Bell-Karnff Station, a circular trading post just on the edge of Quarshannel space.  It was a battered, beaten station that had seen better days in the past as an old Republic outpost before the fall of the Republic and the purge of the Jedi.  These days it saw service as a market for star pilots travelling through the periphery of the sector and a refuelling point before the journey through the vast expanses of deep space.  Jan brought the Sunrise to her docking point on the exterior of the station and waited for the docking tube to attach and pressurise.  He gazed through his cockpit window at the edge of the station and the unfamiliar ships that shared the docking ports with him.  I wonder how many of these guys had any better luck than me? 

Lomona left his Stock Heavy Freighter through the zero-gravity tube and disembarked on the station, papers and permits in hand.  Three Stormtroopers waited for him, weapons at the ready and the lead trooper gruffly barked for the papers.

   "Ship documentation, weapons permits and licences."

Jan handed them over silently and, as he always did at times like this, prayed that Romanoe was as good at forging documents as he bragged he was. 

The trooper inspected the documents more closely, shuffling the flims in his hand and staring at Lomona.  Jan couldn't read what expression sat on the Stormtroopers face but the hairs on the back of his neck began to bristle and that was always a bad sign.

   "Captain…Lomona, we need to ask you a few…questions."  He pointed towards an ominously painted black door across the corridor.  "This way."

Jan weighed up the situation for a brief second.  Three troopers wouldn't be a problem if I thought it was just three troopers.  These Whitecaps usually come in six packs.  He nodded and exhaled deeply, handing his Blasters over to the trooper next to him and stepping into line behind the lead trooper.

The office was bathed in muted light that fell upon a simple table and three chairs.  Jan paused at the doorway, unsure of quite what to expect.  He'd been in situations like this before and had always come off best.  Given the nature of this trip to the Quarshannel Sector now he wasn't so sure of himself.  The Stormtrooper behind him nudged him in the small of the back with his Blaster Rifle and Jan hopped forward.  The lead trooper turned and motioned for the door to be closed.

Jan straightened himself and breathed out again. 

   "Captain.  You're probably running a hundred questions through your mind right now.  What have I done?  Why am I here?  What are they going to do to me?"

Jan raised his eyebrows in agreement.

   "You must be a telepath.  Why am I here?"

The trooper motioned to his two companions who moved from behind Jan into the corners of the room.  Jan watched one of them as he flicked at a switch behind the camera concealed in the corner and watched the small red indicator light fade to pink and then nothing.  This is getting worse all the time, thought Lomona.  What the hell am I going to do?

   "You are a smuggler from the Setnin Sector."

Jan raised his hands in a defensive manner and smiled.

   "Whoa, wait pal.  I'm just an independent free trader who makes the occasional run out here to make some extra credits.  I'm no smuggler.  You've got all my permits right there."

   "You can insult my intelligence if you like, but please don't try to insult Imperial Intelligence as well.  Our operatives here have been trailing you for some time.  You are a known felon from the planet A-desando in the Setnin Sector.  You've worked for the gangster Jabba the Hutt as well as most other Setnin ganglords…including Glann Cipple."

Jan's face drained of colour as he sat in the empty chair before him.  Now I'm really done for.  They've nailed me well and good.  He raised his face from the table and shook his head at the Stormtrooper.

   "So, you've got all this on me.  Why aren't I being lined up against a wall and shot?"

The trooper paused for a second.  Jan sensed that something vital was about to be revealed and he leaned forward.  The trooper seated himself opposite Jan.

   "All in good time Captain."  He raised his hand slightly and his fellow troopers began to remove their helmets.  Jan's eyes widened as the man before him did the same.  Jan looked around at the three men.  They all looked exactly the same.  The seated trooper smiled.

   "Confused?"

   "Yeah.  How come you got to be sergeant?"

   "First out of the jar I guess."

Jan frowned.

   "I wish I hadn't asked.  So, why remove the helmets?"

   "So we can't be eavesdropped.  These helmets have built-in transmitters.  And what I have to say doesn't exactly come under the remit of Imperial law."

Jan's eyebrows creased again and he leaned back in his seat.  This is really getting weird.  What's he want me to do, find his long-lost quoin?

   "Let me get this right.  You know who I am, where I've been and what I do.  So why do I get the impression that we're going to cut a deal?"

The trooper shifted the helmet on the table and looked at his two companions.

   "Because that's precisely what I'm going to do.  We need a package delivered.  Something of vital importance that must make it into the Setnin Sector."

   "And you need me to do that?  Why?  Couldn't you have one of your own ships do it?"

The trooper shook his head vigorously.

   "No Captain.  This must be delivered to a specific location on Trefnare.  The city of Chollywood.  And no one must know about it.  No one."

Jan rubbed the bridge of his nose and leaned back in his seat.

   "What's the cargo?"

   "I can't tell you that."

Jan shook his head slowly.

   "Well then I can't help you.  I'm not transporting an unknown cargo.  It's not the way I run my ship."

The trooper smiled and intertwined his fingers, the amusement evident on his face.

   "Captain, let me remind you that you are currently facing one of two options - life imprisonment or death.  There is no other choice.  So you either take this cargo to Trefnare or we leave you to the hands of Imperial justice."  He opened his hands.  "It's your choice Captain.  If you refuse we can contact another Setnin traveller to do it.  But our intelligence told us that you were the most likely to succeed and the most likely to agree."

Jan smiled at that.  Maybe Imperial Intelligence wasn't as blinkered as I thought.  They sure got me nailed down there.  Jan nodded at the trooper.

   "Okay, lets say I do it. I transport your cargo to Trefnare, an Imperial held world and deliver it without question.  What's to say I won't open the cargo and have a look?"

The trooper glanced at his fellow troopers and smiled again.

   "The tracking device we're currently placing aboard your ship.  And the agents we shall send to shadow your movements."

Lomona nodded slowly and raised his chin.

   "Okay that's a good back-up plan.  But what if I arrived and the Imperial customs officials there find the tracking device?  And realise it's Imperial?  I'll be taken into custody for questioning and your cargo shall be taken away for inspection.  I'll be executed and your package won't make it to its intended owner.  So where does that leave you?"  Jan leaned forward.  "It doesn't take a genius to see that the last people you want to get their hands on this package is the Empire.  So you don't want to increase the risk of me getting picked up by them."

The trooper rubbed his temple and breathed in.

   "So what do you suggest?  We let you just leave with the cargo?  No guarantee that we'll ever see you or the cargo again?"

   "You could guarantee my compliance, no questions asked. Your cargo would be on Trefnare before you knew it."

   "And what would that guarantee entail?"

Jan smiled his infuriatingly smug smile.

   "Removing any mentions of Jan Lomona or Glann Cipple from Imperial records.  You guys obviously have quite a file on our misadventures.  If you want the package delivered without any fuss then make those files disappear."

The trooper balked at this.

   "Do you have any idea how much effort that would take?"

   "I'm betting it wouldn't take half as much effort as it has to set up this little charade.  And what's one more ganglords career matter to the mighty Empire?"

Standing to his feet the trooper began to pace around the table, eyeing his two colleagues as he did so.

   "I don't know if we can take that kind of risk."

   "Risk is part of the game."

Jan waited as the trooper weighed up his options.  A minute of whispered discussion passed as the three conferred and made calls on personal communicators.  Then the trooper spoke.

   "Agreed.  Go back to your ship and await my signal.  The cargo shall be delivered within the hour and the tracking device removed."  He replaced the helmet back onto his head and pointed at the door.  "We shall be speaking again Captain."

Jan Lomona smiled and nodded as the cameras clicked back into life.

   "No, we won't."

Jan returned to the Berone Sunrise after a quiet afternoon in the centre of Dooget Town.  Lifferia had little to offer in the way of excitement, the constant rain put paid to that, but as far as planets went it was pleasant enough.  Jan lifted his trench coat collar to shield himself from the rain and depressed a switch on his belt buckle.  The ramp of the Sunrise lowered and he could plainly make out the shape of his trusty old droid Aurran waiting for him.  Smiling at his old companion he didn't notice the speeder as it approached through the metal fencing and parked a short distance away, four of its occupants clambering out.

   "Lomona."

Jan turned and squinted through the rain that was driving harder as the afternoon wore on.  He wiped the rain from his eyes.

   "Who wants to know?"

   "Glann Cipple.  He wants to ask you about a certain delivery of merchandise you transported from the Quarshannel Sector."

Jan shrugged and waved the men away, rain splashing off his arms.

   "Tell Glann I'm due back on Amagad in three days.  I'll explain everything then."

   "Mister Cipple was most insistent.  He wants an explaination now."

The lead man drew his Blaster, followed by a large hooded alien and the other two hooded gunmen behind.  The speeder driver also raised a weapon.  Jan raised his eyebrows in surprise.  What the hell's brought this on?  Glann can't know about my little cargo drop-off on Trefnare.

   "Glann doesn't know squat about what went on.  Like I said, I'll give him the full story when I'm back on Amagad."

   "That's not good enough Lomona.  We're leaving.  Now."

Jan didn't take too kindly to being ordered about and showed his displeasure with a flurry of Blaster bolts that scattered the men and gave him the chance to make a run for the Sunrise.  As he was about to leap into the ship the speeder dove in front of him, blocking him off from his escape and making him skid and roll around it.  He saw an alleyway that led to the nearby cargo loading areas and made a run for it. 

He left the four men far behind as he splashed through the puddles and mud of the alley.  It was a long run and he feared that they would have a good bead on him if he didn't find a door or cargo bay soon.  There, that will do!  He skidded to catch the corner of the door as he ran past and lost his footing, hitting the floor with a thud.  He shook his head and cursed his clumsiness as he saw the four men bearing down on him.  Scrabbling to his feet he entered the warehouse and entered into the corridors of crates…

Jan stepped from the shadows where he had subdued the second gunman and tread carefully away from the light towards the sound of pursuit.  He ran his fingers through his hair and checked the Blaster was set to stun.  Two alleys away he could see the shadow of his third pursuer, a nervous looking man who was quickly checking every crate and cranny for signs of Lomona.  Jan's mouth curled into a smile.  Thanks Glann.  It's not like you to make things easy for me.

The gunman moved into Jan's view, dead meat if the A-desandian was in the mood for killing.  Luckily he wasn't.  Jan pumped a shot into a crate to the mans left, distracting him and making him spin in surprise.  As he did Jan wound up and threw the Blaster at the mans head, thumping him heavily on the temple with the handgrip.  That's a first.  I nearly knocked a guy out with my butt.  Well, Frans always said it was a good one.

The man staggered in muted surprise, mainly at the thought that someone would be mad enough to throw a Blaster at him.  But it had happened and Jan capitalised on his shakiness.  Two fists hammered on his head as Jan came at him at speed and the man dropped heavily to the floor.  Jan dusted his hands off and straightened his jacket.  Three down…

Suddenly the ceiling lights arced into view, air rushed past his head and the concrete floor raced towards him and greeted him with a crack.  Jan's Blaster skidded away into the crates and he let out a gasp of shock.  He tried to lift his head and couldn't, the impact was so severe.  He opened his eyes instead …and saw a large boot swing rapidly towards his face.  Jan rolled and narrowly avoided the foot, scrambling to his feet and getting some distance.

   "Not so fast Lomona.  Glann wants you in, so in you go."

Lomona shook his head to free his vision of the watery blurring that was plaguing it.

   "Gern?  Gern Omik?  What the Stang are you doing working for Glann?"

The lizard assassin shrugged and licked his dry lips.  Jan could see the ornate sword that Omik preferred to use swinging from a belt at his hip, but couldn't ignore the Blaster that was trained unwavering at his head.

   "Cipple pays well, doesn't he.  Likes men he can trust."

   "How's he account for you then?"

   "Temporary arrangement.  Cipple knows that Galletti wouldn't chase you down, and you know Feese too well.  But me?  I've wanted a job like this for a while."  He smiled a cold grin.  "I think your scalp would look rather good hanging from my shoulder."

Jan rubbed the bridge of his nose and smiled back.

   "It wouldn't fit Gern.  The chip's too big."

Omik frowned.

   "Come Lomona.  Sticks and stones may break my bones…"

   "Probably."

Jan leaped to his left, behind a tall crate and narrowly missed the flurry of deadly blasts that sprayed towards him.  That should get him angry enough.  Jan grabbed a hefty crow bar and waited at the edge of the crate.  He could clearly see Omik's shadow put his Blaster behind a crate and swing out the sword.  Jan snarled.  Arrogant creep. 

   "Come on out of there Lomona.  I'll give you a fair chance."

Jan stepped further back into the shadows.

   "I bet you say that to all your prey."

   "Not all of them.  Just the ones worth playing with."

Jan grinned.  Playing with?  I'll turn you into matching boots and handbag for that.  Jan breathed deep and stepped out.  Omik was waiting in a battle stance with his sword at the ready.  The lizard nodded in appreciation.

   "I thought you'd spot the crow bar.  An effective weapon…if you know how to use it."

Jan shrugged.

   "Let's find out."

Omik nodded and brought the sword up in a fluid motion, bringing the blade high and down towards Lomona's head.  Jan brought the bar up, holding it at both ends and parried the blow, which carved a deep etch into the metal.  Omik rasped at Jan as they came in close, his tongue flicking out.  Jan grimaced with effort as he pressed his height advantage and pushed down on the powerful lizard.  Omik slid the blade away and spun back, giving himself clearance for another attack.  This time the attack was low and Jan hopped over the blade, giving him time to bring the bar down on Omik's shoulder.  The lizard yelled out in shock and staggered back.

   "There ya go Gern.  There's room for my scalp now."

Omik furrowed his hairless brow and spun the blade in his hand.  Jan shifted the bar from left to right hand and swung a parry, splashing sparks from both weapons.  They came in close again and Lomona managed to get the bar inside Omik's attack.  He yanked and the blade came loose in the assassin's hands, skittering away into the shadows.  Jan grinned.

   "Shall we just assume that I know how to use one of these?"  He spun the bar in his hands.  "I'd hate for anyone to get hurt."

Omik glanced from left to right, seeing that his weapons were too far away to make a run for it.

   "Man to man then Lomona."

Jan threw the bar noisily to the ground and rolled up his sleeves.

   "If you think you're up to it." 

Omik ran into the attack, bringing a scaled fist crashing onto Jan's jaw.  The A-desandian staggered but didn't fall and returned the punch with a solid blow to the stomach.  Gern gasped and the two men stepped back.  Jan swung another punch to the head, and another that connected and soon the two were trading furious blows in the centre of the alleyway.  After a minute of frantic fighting Jan moved back, blood and sweat streaming down his cheek in a stinging torrent of pain.

   "Had enough Lomona?  I expected more from you."

   "And I expected more from you Gern.  I had no idea that you'd be so easily lured."

Omik frowned at Jan's remark.

   "What do you mean?"

Jan reached down to the skirting of the crate and lifted out a Blaster.  Omik's face fell.

   "Shoes and handbag it is then."

   "So what exactly was I supposed to do Glann?"

Jan raised his arms in exasperation and turned to the window overlooking the Bay of Amagad City.  He pressed his forehead against the cool Plexiglas window and closed his eyes.  Easy Lomona.  The security guards around here don't even have stun settings.

Glann Cipple picked up the almost empty glass of Geenau Whiskey that sat before him and swilled it around.  He turned slightly to watch Jan and allowed a small smile to creep onto his face.

   "You should have told me.  We might have avoided this…unfortunate chain of events."

Jan shook his head and leaned away from the window as a security skimmer buzzed past.

   "Look, I gave my word.  I said I'd drop the cargo on Trefnare and that would be the end of it.  Besides, it was worth the hassle just to get our names cleared off Imperial records."

Glann eyed Lomona closely and finished the Whiskey.

   "You don't truly believe that, do you?"

Jan shrugged.

   "Why not?  These guys risked everything to get a cargo to the Setnin Sector.  Why not believe that they came through?"

   "It's an intriguing thought I suppose."  Cipple scratched his neck.  "Any more idea of what the cargo was?  You could have been transporting almost anything."

   "You think I don't know that?  I don't carry slaves - it could have been slaves.  I don't carry chemical weapons - it could have been chemical weapons.  I've run through it all Glann and I still don't know what was in there."

Cipple nodded slowly.

   "At least I know I can send you on out on missions to Imperial held worlds.  Apparently they have no records of you." 

Jan turned and leaned on the glass.

   "You can try.  How's Omik?"

   "Recovering…slowly.  He said that you left him out in a typhoon overnight.  The cold almost killed him.  He only survived because the Landspeeder driver found him"

   "I thought lizards liked the water."

   "That's amphibians, Lomona."

Jan shrugged and finished off his own glass of Whiskey.

   "Lizards, amphibians.  They're all the same to me."  He threw his jacket on and made for the door.  "Still want that run to Gista doing next week?"

Glann Cipple raised his eyebrows.

   "Have I said any different?"

Jan Lomona grinned and left the office. 

   "It's almost complete.   One more cycle through the main computer and the virus will be too deeply encoded into the Imperial Network."

The trooper nodded at his identical triplet and glanced at his third brother.

   "With luck Lomona will have delivered our cargo. Eventually compatriots in the Setnin Sector shall reap the benefits of our work."

   "There."  The trooper at the workstation leaned back into his seat.  "It's complete.  Any past, present or future records on Jan Lomona and Glann Cipple shall be automatically wiped from the files."  He frowned and leaned closer to the screen.  "We've been detected.  If we want to make it out of here alive we should go now."

The lead trooper lifted his helmet and slowly lowered it onto his head.  His fellow Stormtroopers did the same.

   "For the Empire."

   "For the Empire, brother."

Everybody Wants Some

1988/1999 short story by Mark Newbold

One year after Episode IV – A New Hope

Histories - Begun in 1988 Everybody Wants Some originally told of a botched mission to Wennsia undertaken by Jan Lomona.  The ramifications of this mess was Lomona's falling out with Glann Cipple.  As the years have passed and the RPG scenarios progressed Lomona and Cipple became more of a friendship than a simple employer/employee relationship.  However, as this story shows Jan can still manage to enrage his boss enough to have him send a hit squad out for him.

In the 1999 version the mission has changed location from Wennsia to the Quarshannel Sector, a dangerous region of space that Cipple would dearly like to have dealings with.  And the cargo delivered to Trefnare?  That will prove to have serious ramifications years later through the timeline.

Cast of Characters

Jan Lomona

Glann Cipple

Gern Omik